“Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.”
Last night at dinner, I said to my wife, “I need to talk with you.” Realizing that those words mean whatever follows will be a heavy topic, I quickly added, “I need to talk to you about what is happening to me in the age of Trump.”
For the past four years, I have been an elected City Councilmember, Vice Mayor, and Mayor for my hometown. In fact, I was sworn in as mayor exactly 10 days before Trump in early 2017. I commented that night that it would take all the strength I had to hold it together, to be perceived as a leader (and to actually behave like one) with that guy in the White House. Signs of community stress were already apparent with residents coming before council and essentially begging us to do something to protect them. I was often heard saying on the dais and around town, when a local municipality has to protect itself from the federal government, you know things have gone awry.
Most of us who are on the ideological left have found our mouths agape at the appalling things that Trump has said and continues to say. I fight the urge to “accept the things I can’t control” and normalize this aberrant behavior. I must remain diligent and outraged so that I stay in the fight. I need the citizens of my city to know that when I am present, I am someone they can trust and look up to. Often, I go home from these events and break down. My home behavior has changed insofar as I now have a drink of whiskey nearly every night, at home, by myself. That is new.
In times of trouble, our nation turns to its leaders for comfort, reassurance, and stability. We look for them to provide us a sense of cohesion and common purpose. We need them to provide hope. We are getting none of that now. President Trump, for all of his traits and tics, is in permanent campaign mode. He started his re-election effort days after he was sworn in. When you’re in campaign mode, it’s all about you and how you are superior to the alternatives. “I alone, can fix it,” Trump famously said during his convention speech. No. No he can’t. And it’s quite simple as to why: he doesn’t want to. Nazi’s marching, reporters being murdered, US territories and states under water from hurricanes, bombs being sent through the mail, killings in a synagogue. And a president who doesn’t see the vast majority of us. He doesn’t feel our pain. He doesn’t understand that we need shepherding during these moments. He has failed us.
We all know the solution….vote for people who will challenge him. The Republican Party has completely abdicated their responsibilities as a check on his abuses of power. The Supreme Court has moved so far to the right that this administration could conceivably challenge even the subpoena power of the House of Representatives to forbid the sunlight to shine on all the secrets he is hiding. So even if the Democrats take back the House and/or the Senate, they may still find themselves neutered. It’s not supposed to work this way.
I am so tired of being his (and his supporters) enemy. By virtue of my alignment with the Democratic Party, there is no common ground for me to find with Trump unless he decides it’s best for him. To him, I am a nobody. An unimportant. And so are most of you. He wants us to be civil. He wants the news media to be nice to him. He wants us to genuflect to him. I can’t and I won’t. And neither should you. Even though you believe in human rights and civility, and simple common decency, he has proven useless in his position as leader of the United States citizens. I feel trapped and frankly, a little hopeless. Word has it that even if the Democrats succeed in 10 days, he is already prepared to stoke more hatred by judging the results as illegitimate. As if he hasn’t ascended to that office by illegitimate help from foreign powers and money.
He really is the worst among us. And that’s why it’s so painful for me. He is the President. That is a fact. Where is fake news when you need it! I often fantasize that he is ineffectual and nobody does his bidding and his policies don’t or won’t take form. But I have been wrong on all of that. He is the President. He is treated as such. His words are written down for all time. He is given deference and respect by the position he doesn’t deserve. And he has made millions and millions of people in this country and around the world, distrust nearly everyone else. The “otherization” is ongoing. The assaults on our institutions. Sowing the hatred and contempt at our law enforcement agencies, teachers, military, and simple base hatred toward fellow humans. The contempt I have for him as our President is palpable.
God forbid this country goes into an economic tailspin. Or we face a huge terrorist attack. Or something else I can’t yet conceive. Imagine him being told he has to sit in that chair in the Oval Office and talk to the country on live TV because, whatever it is that happened is so big and terrible, we need the President to talk to us. To guide us. To be…presidential. He has squandered my ability to listen to him anymore. He alone can only make it worse.
We are leaderless right now. It is unsettling. It isn’t supposed to be like this. Not in America.