Let me first get this out of the way: my son (a senior in high school) qualifies for any undergraduate university or college in the United States. His grades are near perfect. His SAT is near perfect. His letters of recommendation were of that rare stratum of “don’t admit him at your peril.” He held leadership positions in every group he ever joined, was involved in amazing extra-curricular activities, helped an 86 year old Holocaust survivor document her story in a book, has conducted independent research on plastic eating bacteria with a biologist professor at Stanford (he wants to grow up to be an environmental scientist and save the planet), is the lead in his musical theater productions, has played competitive soccer since he was 8, etc. If you heard him give a speech, he would wow you. I know this because every parent who has heard him speak tells me the same thing. “He’s impressive” they say. I always thought so too because he knows who he is.
In short, he’s the type of kid that should be able to write his own ticket. And yet...
For those who don’t follow the college admission process very closely, please know that all schools will have notified applicants if they were either accepted, rejected or wait-listed by today, April 1st. In an era where it isn’t inconceivable to get skunked (universal rejections) my son applied to 17 schools. Ten were YES, five were NO, and two were WAIT (see the list at the bottom). Over the course of three years he toured about 25 colleges and applied to the ones he was most interested in. He also chose a few to apply to that he didn’t visit, but had programs in environmental science or policy that he felt would be conducive to his future ambitions.
Although he had editing help, he was in charge of his own applications. As parents, we provided him with whatever tool he needed, but we never crossed the line for demanding he do one thing versus another. We did help him edit his essays (by the time the process was done, his main essay had gone through 37 revisions. It still makes me tear up when I read it, as it was about the Holocaust survivor and the friendship they developed), and there were many essays. All told, I think he had to submit 30+ different essays of varying lengths and subject matters. It was a taxing process to say the least.
Of the 10 schools he was admitted to, seven of them were private. Of the private schools, 4 of them offered him merit scholarships that totaled at least $82,000 over for years. The largest was $100,000. This diary is not to complain that my son doesn’t have fantastic choices nor to suggest that he was wronged in any way. It’s to say, there is indeed an asterisk next to the NO and the WAIT results because we simply don’t know why those results came in as they did.
All schools he applied to had some concentration or major or program that appealed to him in some significant way. He made sure to articulate that in his essays and to the recruiters that he had met in his travels or at his high school. As parents, we also screened out schools that felt like the culture of the school and his personality were the wrong fit. Still, he got to decide where he applied and in only once case, do I think he made the wrong decision. That particular school (Rice University) said no, and I wasn’t surprised.
Yale University has recently rescinded an acceptance for one of the kids who they had admitted early, because that kid’s parents were caught up in the admission scandal that has rocked our country. When Yale did that, I felt satisfied that a qualified applicant, like my son, would have at least one more chance at a coveted slot. I hope they chose wisely.
The admission process has always been a black box and parents and applicants never really understand why the decisions come down as they do. My daughter, who is a sophomore at Tufts University outside of Boston, has a friend who is presently at Stanford (our local elite university). My daughter was more “qualified” academically than her friend, but both her friend’s parents graduated from Stanford and had donated significant money to the school (seven figures). We guess that’s why the “Yes” although we don’t really know. Also, the Ivy’s and other elite schools tend to admit only one person from our high school. If the legacy advantage is true (and in my experience, it is), then it is incredibly difficult for someone else who doesn’t have that, to get admitted, no matter how qualified they are. My son doesn’t have legacy status.
My daughter was intimidated by the Ivy League schools and chose not apply. My son was not. He knew he stood a chance, even with their 4% admittance rates. He knew his applications would be strong. Harvard, Princeton, and Yale turned him down. Cornell, the Ivy with the best “fit” for him, put him on the wait-list. The other school for which he was wait-listed was the University of Chicago. For both Cornell and U Chicago, he informed us (the parents) after the decision, that those two schools made him the most “nervous” but for different reasons. Cornell because it was the hardest school to get to from our Silicon Valley home and U Chicago because he thinks the students there never get away from the rigorous academics. He was afraid he’d burn out. Perhaps the Wait decision is the universe’s way of talking to my son, and saying, “We got your back.”
The advice you often hear from college counselors is that you screen carefully for schools to apply, and then you agree to attend the “best” school that admits you. I don’t necessarily agree with that advice. I think you screen very carefully for schools that offer cultures and a student body that reflect how you are and wish to be…then accept the best from within that group. In my son’s case, there is a new interdisciplinary program called Beyond Boundaries at Washington University in St. Louis (“Wash U”). The Beyond Boundaries program is limited to only 50 students and will incept its inaugural class this year. If you apply to Wash U, you have to apply to BB separately. For most kids, they won’t get into BB, but they still can be admitted to Wash U. Since he is interested in Climate Change, he recognizes that the only way to truly solve the problem will be with multi-modal approaches. The BB program spoke to him and he was extremely excited to apply to it. This, after he had visited the school and it felt like home to him. When he was admitted, he told his mother and me separately. We both cried. We knew this was where he was supposed to go.
I believe the college admission scandal will get worse as the scope of the fraud expands. It’s hard to say if it negatively impacted my son as a qualified applicant, given his success in getting into some of the top schools in the country. To get off a wait-list, the student is required to write the admissions office and request a change of consideration to a YES. I believe my son will try, just to see if Cornell and U Chicago will in fact change their mind. In the meantime, he’s narrowed his choices to two: Wash U and Tufts (he LOVES his sister, LOL). As a parent, it is difficult to imagine being more proud of him. His maturity and steadfastness and dedication to the byzantine college admission process have been amazing to watch. I actually have confidence in the world knowing that he’s a few years away from making meaningful and necessary changes that will benefit us all.
YES
Washington University
Tufts University
Emory University
Brandeis University
UCLA
UC Berkeley
UC Irvine
Whitman College
Carleton College
Macalester College
WAIT
Cornell University
University of Chicago
NO
Harvard
Princeton
Yale
Duke
Rice